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Ah, the Winter Olympics: 17 days of intense international athletic competition marked by an overarching spirit of goodwill and mutual respect. Or, perhaps more accurately, two or three moments of somewhat intriguing sport sprinkled over a two-and-a-half-week orgy of obscure wintry gamesmanship.

The Summer Olympics I can understand; we assemble the world’s best to determine the fastest runner, fastest swimmer, person who can throw a spear the farthest, etc. But the Winter Games seem too made up; wholly unsatisfying when compared to the Summer Olympics. Here’s why:

1.    The events aren’t very Olympic. While some of the events are a little too creative—e.g., cross-country skiing with the added twist of shooting stuff—others really seem like filler and that are unfitting for what most people would consider to be the greatest athletic competition in the world.  A few leave the distinct impression that they were created on a budget and exist only to add events without needing new facilities. For instance, the Winter Olympics decision makers have exhausted every possible permutation of bobsledding. (Are four men in a bobsled too boring? Try it with just two! Or just one, and make him lay flat on his back! Or spin him around headfirst! Heck, all of the above!) And while I actually like curling, they might as well as add bocce ball and the bean bag toss to the Summer Games if curling is considered Olympic.

2.    The achievements are marginal. In the abstract, at least. Yes, a skier or bobsledder could set a world record for fastest skiing or sledding, but since when has excellence been measured in how fast someone can slide down a hill? Plus, gravity is helping out a bit. Sliding on ice and snow just isn’t in the same realm as distance running or sprinting or weightlifting or swimming or even rowing. While it does take a great deal of skill to excel at skiing or ice dancing, they don’t exactly redefine the limits of physical human achievement.

3.    Judged sports can’t compare to measured sports. The medal placing for two of the most popular Winter Olympic sports – figure skating and snowboarding – are decided solely on judges’ scores. So are some summer games, like gymnastics, but the vast majority are objective. Do you know who wins the gold medal for the high jump? The one who jumps the highest. Who wins the gold in men’s figure skating? Well, it’s up to the judges.

So, who’s looking forward to the Summer Olympics?